No to long ago I found myself being rather argumentative, difficult and basically a little bitch about Christmas. I took a stance that it was hypocritical for someone not of the Christian faith to celebrate Christmas. “Call it ‘the holidays’”‘Do your things some other time.” After all, Christmas is about Christ right? Well, sort of.
Around this same time the most well read and intelligent human I have ever met gave me some insight and opinion. He also led me to take a look at what my position is (was). You know, that which I always tell others to do, know what you believe and why. I took my message and the hint of others to do just that. Look at my ’stuff’.
Fist thing I did was review, reread all four of the Gospels. Nowhere, not one time, in anyway at all, did Jesus say, suggest, request or demand that we celebrate or recognize his birth. This was something that men chose to do some time after his death.
Christmas happens to coincide with the Roman pagan holiday of Saturnalia. A week long celebration that included gift giving, big meals, some amount of drinking, sex and singing in the streets. Except for the sex, a lot like Christmas!
Christians of the day where working to convert the pagans and grow the church. Not big on the idea of Saturnalia they failed at stopping the converts from continuing to partake. So, instead of losing the fight, they simply swallowed up the celebration, took out some of the less Christian parts, and made it about Christ. Viola!
Later on the, the advent of Advent occurred. Another man-made creation never mentioned or required by Jesus.
Later, after the reformation, in the 1500’s there was actually at time in England and the colonies that the celebration of Christmas was illegal because it was too pagan! HA!
That eventually subsided (as did paganism). Saturnalia became Christmas. Christmas was the celebration of the birth of Christ on December 25th. A date chosen by council in 567 I believe.
Not all that long ago I commented on “them taking the Christ out of Christmas”. I argued with someone I love and respect about atheist being hypocritical for celebrating ‘our holiday’. I Complained about the commercialization of such an important event. Lamented the loss of respect, the loss of recognition of ‘what Christmas is all about!’.
Well now. Screwed that up! The more I look into it, the more I realize that it is the Christians that are the hypocrites here. We took a pagan event and made it about our God in an effort to persuade others to join the ranks. We lost respect for their holiday, overlooked ‘what is was all about’ and manipulate them through/with it. Maybe taking the Christ out of Christmas is not such a bad thing.
The only thing the Jesus told us to do is Love God and Love each other. The “spirit of Christmas” then, should be something we do, are, show and live every single day! Not just on December 25th. We should be giving gifts to everyone, not just family, friends and those that can make or break us.
We say that Christmas is about Christ yet, we are part of all the same things that we complain about happening to Christmas. Why? Not our holiday. Not a holiday at all.
What should we, Christians do at Christmas? Nothing different from that which we say we do every day. Love our neighbors. Show the world what Christianity is by how we live everyday. Give the season back to those that want it. Back to those that we injected our stuff onto, those who’s holiday lost its meaning and focus by what we put on it.
We do not need to prepare ourselves for four weeks to receive the gift of a savior. If we believe in the grace of God, that Jesus was in fact God in human form, then we are past needing preparation or to be reminded of his birth. What we need is to prepare for the return and to be reminded of what he wanted us to know and do.
No candles in the Gospels. Not birthday parties in the Gospels. No decorations in the Gospels. Even communion was put into practice by Paul. Jesus suggested we remember him at each meal. No once a week, not only by some one that ‘took the class’ on how to hand out bread and grape juice. Ever meal, every time.
When I sat down to write my thoughts about Christmas, I was going to write about how I thought it was sad that it has lost so much meaning and become such a part of the secular world. Not for one second did it cross my mind that it was me, us that should get out of the game and let it be what it always was. Seven days of food, fun and celebration at the end of December. After all, we were only asked to do two things, all the time, every day.
A V
There is a phenomena in the world that had been kept secret far too long. It is time to address this and make it known to the masses. It is simple yet misunderstood. prevalent yet ignored as insignificant. It is real. Very real, and it is world-wide.
It is, the man cold.
On the surface it seems to be the same as the ‘common cold’ suffered by both genders, treated with the basics of tea, vitamin C, chicken soup, fluids and rest. In as little as eight hours results can be seen, felt and often, in less than a full twenty-four hour cycle, one feels much better employing these methods. Such is the ‘common cold’. This is why it is common. It is easy to deal with and only sets out a minimum of discomfort and inconvenience.
The common cold is the only cold that women get. Women are just engineered to suffer better than men. They can have a six-ounce tea, a single vitamin C tab, sit and think about resting for ten minutes and be about 75% better. It is rather amazing actually. Must come from the ability to survive child-birth and the having to be paired with males.
So – there is the woman of the house, sniff, sneeze, cough – and – moving on. Men can get the common cold as well and with only wee bit more treatment be on their way as well.
Then there are the times he catches, the man cold. Sure, symptomatically it seems the same as the common cold. But alas my friends, the man cold is far more treacherous and threatening. It is universal among married or cohabiting men. Almost never seen in single men. That would just be too cruel.
When a man has a man cold, that little tickle or scratch in the throat from the common cold is more a strangulation and choking on broken glass feel. The sniffle and sneezing is escalated to flat out underwater creature like snorkeling with sneezes coming in rounds of six to ten with force enough to rip the skin off a green banana at four paces.
A man cold comes not with a head ache but with sinus pressures that threaten to dislodge teeth and pop eyeballs from their orbits. Not aches and pains but full muscular retaliation as if the structure itself has become confused and every attempt to move is a torturous event of limbs flailing in no recognizable fashion.
Now, sure people can die from diarrhea but, with the man cold, no suck luck. You see, this is only part of the man cold because men read the vitamin C bottle and think that if one works for regular daily use, then obviously four or six are needed to fight off a cold. This of course does not work and the result is a man that has to move to the bathroom with a body in complete denial of his mastery of it. He wishes he might die but – no such luck. He suffers loudly and often.
The other thing about the man cold is that it cannot be treated, cured with just the things that will work on the common cold. More specific and exact things are needed. The first is public TV. Not the programing PBS, KOCE or whatever it is in your neighbor hood. I mean that the TV must be in the most public, common use space in the house. preferably with a sofa most members of the domicile like to sit on. This is where the man will lay, watching TV and moaning. He tends to be more quite when alone. Occasionally little outbursts of misery are heard. Not an actual call for help but, a suggestion perhaps that if someone wanted to come and help, they certainly could.
It does not matter if he has a bigger HD badass home theater system in his bedroom. To get better, a man will give up at least six inches of screen, HD and watch reruns of season 1 NCIS. He NEEDS to be out there. Why??
Because, the other thing he needs to recover is attention. Not this meaningless light banter, “How are you feeling?”. I mean – he needs attention. Soup, snacks, back rubs, warm and cold towels, drinks, snacks, foot rubs, stories, snacks and… stuff. He needs, attention. This is critical. Sure he could lay in bed all alone in a quite room with the big TV and pay-per view but in no time flat the whole room would start to feel like a sarcophagus! In his mind he is already on deaths door mat – stop ringing the bell by sequestering him!
Being locked up and alone, ignored is just that many more nails in the coffin. A man cold needs a woman’s attention, the family’s sympathy and more than anything, the recognition that, “Hey, that man is SICK!” Really and honestly sick – not in some common cold kinda sick – but one foot in, one foot slipping kinda sick.
I know you ladies are skeptical. I know this because I have had the man cold and listened to a few of your kind talking to others of your kind – mocking the misery I was in. I have heard the same story from other man after their near death experiences too.
Its real though. It is as real as every damn thing that makes your butt look big, no matter what we say.
I’m going back to bed.
A V
The ‘thing’ about expectations is who is most let down when they are not met? If you are the one not living up or if you are the one being let down, both sides suffer some what. I suppose the level of expectation by each the expector and expectee are the key to knowing who is the biggest looser.
Myself, at my age, my level of experience, I have come to expect that I will not live up to anyone’s expectations of me. (Not the good ones anyway). Seems I make a good first impression then steadily fall off the pace until folks walk away scratching their heads trying to figure out what they were expecting in the first place. Why is a common question. Why did I think he would do/say/provide _____________(fill in the blank)
Those same years and moments have left me a bit weary as well. I often look forward to certain things, expect things from others. I am just as often let down. Not by them but, by my misunderstanding and my desire that there is someone out there that will actually a) not expect me to be more than I am, who I am not, b) live up to being what I expect them to be!
You see, this will not work.Cannot work. Had never worked to date.
I am flawed as a person on both ends of this situation. I cannot be who everyone thinks I am. Somehow I need to bring ‘the real me’ to every party, dinner, walk in the park, talk on the phone, from the very first moment. Not lead anyone to believe there is any more there than there is. Save us all a lot of time and energy.
I also need to stop expecting anything from anyone else, at all. To take everything as it comes, a surprise when nice, not a surprise when not. Not to lose sleep over what did or what could happen. Just go to sleep knowing stuff will happen – if I expect it too or not.
This by that way is not a social commentary on all people. I have met, know people I could expect the world from and they will find a way to deliver if asked. This is about me not being one of them. This is about me not choosing those type of people to expect things from.
Time for another cough drop and to delete emails, photos, files and all expectations.
A V
PS: self-fulfilling prophecy created by expecting the worse? Yea but, topic for another day.
Recently someone commented on my being a theist. This individual has known me a very very long time and knows well my fluctuations from casual Christian to Atheist and all points in between. Hung out in the deist camp quite a bit. Lolly gagged around the Eastern and even broke a sweat with North Americans a few times.
I had to go back and re-read the note as the phrase, a theist, is so remarkably close to atheist I had to be sure what I was being accused of! Labels are fine, when appropriately affixed.
It occurred to me then that there is such a tiny space between us – those that believe and those that do not. The lazy “i just don’t know” Agnostics can go to Starbucks and shut the hell up for a while. I am talking about people who believe in something. Or, in this case, nothing too.
You see, it is no longer about what to me but about why. Why do you have the position you do? Can you explain it? There are so many sheep on both sides. Empty heads that store a few lines of someone else’s reasoning to regurgitate like a speaking toy with a pull string. A Pavlovian response to a few key words and the vomit like spewing begins and continues until the speaker is out of breath.
Please notice I do not apply this specifically to either side. Both camps have the same thing to over come. Members of the club you really wish had not learned the secret hand shake. They make it really hard for the members that actually know what they are talking about.
In the end we believe what we choose to because we choose to believe it. There is no proof. There most likely will not be any time soon. Science, the physical world stuff, is not made to work in the non-physical world, if there is one of course. (Sorry that last line was attempt to remain neutral! Fail. Lack the word skills.)
What there is however is a lot information on both sides of the aisle. Go get some. Read it. Read some of both sides. If you take any stack of data and have a predetermined conclusion you want to reach, you will find a way to manipulate that data. Starting at the end is not the best way to learn something.
If you want to believe in the Judeo-Christian God, you will see him/her everywhere and see proof everywhere. If you want to believe only in the physical Newtonian world you will see a lack of proof in anything but science.
The trick, in my mind, is to know and be able to articulate your reasoning. Name calling, belittling, slurring and slinging are not necessary. (Unless you are lazy agnostic – read a book damn it!)
This of course is nothing new, not saying anything a million much smarter people have said before me. It is just that, that little space between, the difference ‘tween a t and at brought it back to the forefront of my thoughts this morning.
That tiny space between has been the cause of so much misery, treachery, senseless cruel death, villainous bigotry. Amazing that the difference is so small, I almost missed it. Even more amazing is how big the human creature/creation can make something out of the smallest thing.
I know that what someone believes is a big thing to them. As it ought to be, a big deal! But why is what someone else believes also so important to them too?
Any way, I gots stuff to do today. Just felt like typing.
Peace,
A V
Well, that’s over. Thanksgiving of course, what did you think I meant? The holiday of excess. A pastor I know noted it – “gratitude and gluttony” Well done.
I am actually quite thankful for many, many things at this time in my life. I was not however all the excited to go through this particular holiday this year. So many people expected to hear about my thankfulness. To sit and listen to the tales of how God had done so many wonderful things for me. How so many amazing people stepped up or into my life. People expected me to be thankful and in turn they expected me to tell them all about it.
(run-on sentence full of expletives deleted)
Do I have anything to be grateful for? Yes. A wheel-barrel and a half full of things. Not just the typical, everyone has, everyday things. I gots stuff to be thankful for. I know it. I recognize it. I express it to those people that are directly involved with it.
I was not looking forward to this holiday because it was ‘personal’ this year. Not the pedestrian stuff, like getting through the awful recession without too much difficulty. Like not only being healthy but having the ability and resources to find out you are healthy. Like having family that not only cares for you but that you care for as well. If you are one of those that just said, “Well, of course!” go back and count that little gift over again. Family is a nightmare more often than not.
I could go on for several more paragraphs on the standard thankful-for list but why? Really, you know it. You probably rambled your way through it more than once, maybe even in the guise of a prayer you perfunctorily offered up while wondering where the jello mold was on the table.
What am I thankful for then? Lemme tell ya. More than anything else, I am thankful that I know the position I am in today, this very moment, is ALL due to decisions I made. Some a very long time ago. Others not to long ago. All my own doing. I am thankful that at this time in my life, I know that. There is no entitlement, nothing owed or deserved. There is what you work for and what you are willing to accept when it comes along.
There is what you work for and what you are willing to accept when it comes along. Amen. I have been fortunate enough this year to get both at the same time. Many of the people around me know I am not all that good at asking for help. (I know some of you disagree and you are entitled to you opinion. I am entitled to ignore it) I will, and do ask, I just really hate having too. That I am, have screwed up so much and so often that it is something I have to do is the real issue.
So – this year there has developed this balance, people that know I am in need, that supply opportunity for me to earn it. It sounds simple, like “Get a job!”. Well, that is not so simple. I have been looking, and looking and looking. I was considered not qualified to spend eight hours a night in a rest top on the I-5 keeping the bathrooms clean. The letter actually said, they had found someone better qualified for the position. There is a very small difference between humbled and humiliated. Almost impossible to distinguish between the two.
What had occurred, what I stared to talk about in the previous paragraph, is the people, the have stepped in to offer me things to do, to earn some money, to work for what they would have just as happily ‘loaned’ or given to me. They know it would not have been refused. They also know the damage that help would have brought with it.
There are people better qualified than I to clean toilets. Easy to see that there are much more qualified people out there to do all of the things I was offered this year. I am aware of that. I am thankful that I was able to do something, anything to earn the gifts. That is the short distance between humbled and humiliated. What I offered back was my very best effort. All I have left. And I a damn grateful I still have that to offer.
On the more standard list, I am in doors due to the true love and generosity of a friend. I am not hungry, because of so many others coming from the same place of love and generosity.
A dear friend’s struggle with cancer had been very positive, a ‘clean’ test only two weeks before the 26th. Another dear friend called on me, accepted my offer, to be there on the day she was tested, for same. We are waiting through this long holiday weekend to find the results of those tests. It may not seem it but, to be asked, “will you come with me” is a gift and an honor.
As much as I have bitched and complained of my own situation regarding heath care, I must say, I am thankful I have been able to make some progress. Myself, waiting through this long holiday weekend for results of tests done on the 25th.
Contact made with a past friend. Peace with the choice to let another relationship go dormant. Doors open, doors close and I have not had a finger crushed! YEA!
Traveling vicariously through the eyes of friends while able to reminisce and share tales of my own travels.
Learning and teaching.
Still sober, still not interested nor tempted.
Still full of faith and doubt – HUGE gifts, both.Still carrying the minister title into the world of weddings and doing a damn good job for those that hire me. My very best effort, regardless of what it ‘looks like’ to anyone. I am good at this. “My couples” get a kick-butt wedding for having chosen me.
Still loved, no matter how much I struggle to understand or accept it.
Still crazy, mental and physical. Thankful for those few short months of sanity, that make me aware of it.
Yea, my life is abundant with gifts. I know it.
I do not think I shall give up bitching about things nor wanting or wishing for others. I will however, make a better effort to be just as loud about the being thankful for too.
A V
